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Survey finds most friends would rather not use their holiday time to attend your wedding.

Close friends will sacrifice their vacation days to come to your wedding but your nearest and dearest probably aren’t happy about it.

This is according to a survey commissioned by Flash Pack and compiled by research company, Mortar. Americans aged 18-65 and from a range of income brackets and regions took part in the survey which looked at how Americans use their vacation time.

Turns out that around 35% of someone’s precious vacation time is sucked up by friends’ weddings, bachelorette parties, baby showers and birthdays.

In truth, they’d rather be using their vacation days for themselves.

When you consider that US employees working in the private sector only get around 10 paid days off a year, using 3.5 of them for social events is quite a chunk.

Attending events such as these and celebrating happy moments is, of course, wonderful. They’re often once in a lifetime moments and cherished memories are made.

But when several of these events fall in the same year, giving up that vacation time becomes a lot.

Millennials give up the highest number of vacation days, with 61% of respondents aged 25-44 saying they had been to around 10 local weddings in the last three years. Of those, 34% had up to four destination weddings in the same period.

Friends and guests feeling the pressure to attend other people’s happy events could be why a huge 80% of respondents said they’d rather use those vacation days a year for themselves. Only a fifth of the 1,000 respondents said they were happy to use their vacation days to celebrate other people’s milestones.

The difficult reality of destination weddings

While it’s wonderful to have your nearest and dearest celebrating your day with you, the hard destination wedding truth is that some people simply won’t make it. Organizing time off work and potential loss of earnings is too much for some to give up.

Knowing how important these milestone events are to the couple or organizer means saying “Thank you, but no” can be very difficult. When the Flash Pack survey respondents were asked about declining invites to events, they found:

  • 31% of respondents spun a lie to avoid attending.
  • 24% wish they had the confidence to say no, but always RSVP with a yes.
  • 22% feel anxious about being invited to events they’re not interested in.

No one wants to put friends in a difficult position. Being mindful of what’s a friend and guest might need to sacrifice to attend your wedding — local or destination — is caring and considerate.

It’s also another reason why a couple may choose to elope, just the two of them. Pressure is relieved for everyone. Especially for guests who may struggle for a way to decline your invite without sounding like they’re putting their career or their own vacation plans ahead of you.

The Benefits of a Private Elopement

Having a very private wedding that’s just the two of you isn’t for everyone. But, for the right couple, it has benefits.

  • It’s the ultimate exciting, romantic adventure
  • The day is just about the two of you
  • Removes extra guest organization
  • Can be organized at short notice
  • Keeps costs down.

A Perfect Wedding, Just for Two

Many of the couples who book with Cactus Collective Weddings want a very small, intimate wedding. Most of them are just the couple themselves.

Read Why Couples Choose a Las Vegas Wedding.

McKenzi Taylor
McKenzi Taylor

McKenzi Taylor is America’s go-to elopement and micro wedding expert, often featured in small and major media outlets, such as the New York Times. With over 15 years of wedding photography experience, it was after planning her own Las Vegas elopement in 2016 that McKenzi felt her purpose shift into elopement coordination. She started Cactus Collective Weddings soon after in 2017. Since then, she’s become a WIPA board member, and has helped well over 1000 couples get hitched in style around Las Vegas, San Diego and Black Hills.